Sounds like a lot to pay for a dowry if she aint been married before, maybe double what it should be. But since you are a foreigner maybe it's not such an unusual request.

I meant to say it sounds like a lot of dough if she HAS been married before. Its possible her family want to be sure of you before they let her leave thailand, to feel secure that you aint gonna sell her into sexual slavery. But how do you know her anyway?

Use your head to think, and not that thing between your legs?

Well I think that is alot of money too but I would like you to think about Thai lady they are not the same is bad luck for you to found the bad one I'm sorry to hear that too

15000 USD is a lot in fact far too much, 100 thousand baht is ok, however remember when a Thai man marries a Thai lady he usually becomes the bread winner for the family including parents. But definently do not be pushed into handing over large sums of money/

Way out of line, if you send the money, say goodbye to your honey!

is there no end to the bs they come up with? like build mama and papa a house, they need money, they very poor. these girls in pattaya are at it all the time. buy me this buy me that. gold and phones anything thats pawnable they will sell. then ask you to replace them or buy them back so they can pawn them again, theres no end to the continuous give me money? they then move on swiftly because they dont want to lose time. so be on your guard at all times

Sure,that is LAND OF SMILE...more appropriate is AMAZING THAILAND...really amazing...stay away of social,daily life-as much as possible,THAT's the way,the only one...Be smiled to all and everyone but don't believe anything they say...To THAI LADY(poster above)...MAJORITY of Thai women are like this...Very rare can find a good hearted and honest woman...Sorry but that's the fact.I am not talking about tries to improve life.It would be fine with me if they are not so tricky and low in deceiving farangs,manipulating.Pretending,lies-that is most commom thing we can find here...Speaking about women style here.Makes me so sick again...

Milo - Your views are a disgrace. You say the majority of Thai females are bad. How can you quantify such a generalisation? Maybe you can enlighten us with your experiences?

To an OWL, try to be an OWL, ok? :)
My question to you: did you read what MIKE says? Why would you need any other experience? Is it clear what the man says? Disgrace belongs to me or to that kind of women. What do you think? In other words, your point is that MINORITY doing here.Is that so? I do not know whom you are and where you from are but I will tell you-my experience is quite different then you could say by my attitude about this issue,ok mai?ALL i said is : all westerners should to be smiled to all and everyone here but arses against the wall and opened eyes.That was my point.They should know what is going on here and how easy is to be a victim here.Unfortunately,victim of THEIR(westerner's) emotions.One more thing,i can judge ONLY about woman who are running after farangs here.At least,about 90% of them.Is it good quota to name it MAJORITY?Appreciate your answer to me,even in sarcastic way,a bit.Regards,stay well wherever you are now...oooppps ONE more thing-i LOVE this country but that doesn't mean i will be deaf,blind or mute if i do not like something here,ok mai?And tricks of Thai women(majority and Esan,mostly)i dislike.It is for sure.

Milo - I did indeed read Mike's comment and I'm not disagreeing with anything he said. I agree that many Western men have bad experiences with Thai ladies, and should be wary of a certain type of girl (and it pisses me off when it happens). But, I don't agree that the majority of Thai females are running after westerners and are that way inclined. As you said, maybe we've had different experiences /gone to different places

...... and hopefully it won't happen to me ;)

I got caught by a 19 year old girl from Korat, she said she was a virgin and would only have sex when she is married, i thought fine she had the face and body to die for. we would get married in sorngkran part of the deal was that i give parents 200,000 baht to build house i foolishly gladly handed the money over. when this was done she went mad, I mean as if she was possesed by something, if this was acting she was very good. this cost me another 30,000 baht for treatment in the temples, she went to a ritual called a saracram, can anyone enlighten me on what that was about. anyway before I left I gave her 15,000 to spend while I was away for a month, and she wouldnt have to work. a week later on the telephone she said she was going to have to get a job to feed her parents I wasnt very happy about this, on the next telphone conversation she said she wanted money for furniture, I thought to myself they are still building the house what does she want furniture for, so I wouldnt give her any more until i got back in april when we marry. after this i got no more I love you or calling me darling. I am convinced she was with someone else while on the phone. she was very clever as this prompted me to end the relationship, I am heartbroken I dont know if it because I lost her or the eight thousand pounds I spent on her. Mickey

written by Dave Anderson, Wed 13 Feb 2008 10:22:35 CST

Use your head to think, and not that thing between your legs?
THIS IS BEST ADVISE YOU COULD GET...believe or not THAT IS where we make mistake,i mean westerners...Good luck next time,read my comments please,also a few other men here...

Mickey... You mentioned that the girl was/is 19 years old... you didn't mention how old you are. There is just one point that makes me wonder. You say, "she had the face and body to die for". Is that what you wanted to marry her for? It sure sounds like it. If that is the case, it is no wonder that you got caught up in this mess.... Did you even know her for more than 6 months?? Or even 3 months?? Do you really think how you went about it is how long lasting, loving relationships are built?

"MAJORITY of Thai women are like this...Very rare can find a good hearted and honest woman..." Milo, when I read your post I thought you meant exactly what you wrote. Thanks for clarifying it - now I realise you meant "the majority of Thai woman who come from the poorer areas and are looking for / have a Western boyfriend". I think you are also inferring these are the girls who work in bars and / or are using the internet to make 'contact' with Western males.

Coincidently, I lived with a half Isaan, half Laos girl for 2 years. She NEVER asked me for much (i.e. she never asked for any money for her family, or for expensive items for herself) and contributed what she could towards the joint finances (and at one point, due to a mistake of my own, we didn't have much money). As you know, a lot of people from Isaan are disadvantaged when it comes to educational and socio-economic opportunities (hence, a disproportionate number of such girls end up working in bars). I guess you would call me lucky. I was introduced to her by Thai friends and went on several dates with her before anything amorous happened. Anyway, as this is a website for scams, I'm sure you're not interested in my story.

Enjoy Songkran and take care.

P.S. To Western men coming over here, please read Mickey's comments and take heed. I'm don't know where he met the girl but lets face it, do you really want to get into a relationship with a bar-girl or start handing over vast amounts of hard earned cash to someone you hardly know?

Look guys, what do you expect if you go to places like Pattaya?! The good ladies stay with their families and not in a go go bar!!! So look at proper places.

I met this girl in a quiet bar in Jomtien, it was her first time working in a bar, I thought I would rescue her from a career of prostitution. the thanks I got at the end of the day was a large dent in my finances and a broken heart, I have been coming to Thailand for years but have never trusted the Thais , everywhere you go all they want is to get your money off you, from the second you arrive at the airport and even when you are leaving the country they are after your money. My brother has said the same ,he used to love Thailand but has started to hate the people. the whole country is corrupt, it is as if it is designed to extract money from farangs. even the Thai baht looks like it is designed to look as if everything is cheap. a hundred baht seems to be a pittance but when you look at a thousand baht you are talking a lot of money, I have learnt my lesson now, have no compassion for a Thai and you cant go wrong.

Mickey...you said "all they want is to get your money". This is not true for all, but close to 99% true for a 19 year old bargirl witha 48 year old guy.

I am pleased you have seen the light!!

Thai Naval officer marries Thai school teacher 10 years ago
10bht gold and 100000bht
Large Dowrys for "good" educated girles are typical

Owl, thanks for the story of a positive experience with an Issan girl. I have been married to one for 5 years and neither she nor or family EVER ask for money. They are poor rice farmers like most Issan people. She says she has always worked to keep herself and her family and that's the way it will continue.

Yes the marriage dowry cost 100,000 plus 10 bht gold for the wife , but her parents paid for the wedding out of their 100,000 and her mother still has the rest in the bank. We recently bought a house in her village and had it renovated. Her mother paid for some of the work because we live in Australia and my wife paid her back when we went there. Mum never questioned that she should use her money to help us. Like parents everywhere.

The population of the town I live in in Australia is 4000 and there are 20 Thais who live here and are married to Farang. Some for 30 years some for 1 year. All of the spouses have the same story. Yes sometimes they have to give money to the parents, buts thats the Thai way. No old age pension in Thailand. At least 8 of those girls worked in bars at some time.

Boys there a good Thai women out there. Take your time and don't rush in to offering to pay for everything. If she askes for houses or medical expenses in the first 3 months forget it. The good girls, and there are many in bars because that's all they have got to sell, are embarressed to ask you for money. The bad girls don't care. As Dave said and your should know do not allow that thing between your legs to do your thinking

docsmith,
I agree with you, there are good Thai women out there just like any other country. I myself never good experiences. But i am not going to bash whole nation, based on tow or three bad experiences I had.

LOOK, there is no such thing as a dowry in Thailand, we do not pay each others family when marrying,these girls are hardcore scamming HOOKERS,giving the rest of us thai women a bad name. If you want to meet a genuine thai girl I suggest you follow this advice,

1. Real thai ladies are ALWAYS dressed respectfully, no matter what, they think that showing skin is totally inappropiate, I mean damn I've seen them bathing in the sea with jeans and a t-shirt on! hookers will drop it like its hot and have everything possible showing.

2. They usually are horribly shy when approached by a 'farang' and feel almost intimidated by them, (not sure why)they DO NOT smile and flirt, its considered vulgar. whereas hookers will make a bee-line for you.

3. They do not hang out at bars that are full of tourists, but prefer a bar full of thai's & I mean no one but thai's there. Hookers will infest anywhere the farangs are. Thankfully you will only find the hookers in high tourist spots, Pattaya, Phuket, Koh Samui, etc...

I stayed in Patong, Phuket a few summers back and met up with some thai hookers who told me every little scam they made up, I watched in horror as they pick their pray and try to extort, rob, even murder their clients for money, pls be careful and I would avoid them like the plague. to meet a decent thai girl you have to go to into the markets, the unspoilt sleepy seaside resort like Bang Sapan, the stores, the cinema's, the jungles!.

Houston lady, I am afraid you are very very wrong, it is normal practice for a dowry of money and gold to exchange hands, although I guess it depends what region of Thailand your from. Normal is maybe 80,thousand baht cash, and 4 baht gold necklace and 4 baht gold chain, the brides mother pays for the ceremony and all the arrangements, this has been researched and confirmed by Thai ladies (not hookers) this takes place between Thais as well not just Thai Farang marriages.

P.S. Thai lady in Houston

YOU SOUND VERY BITTER,AND DEMEANING TO YOUR FELLOW COUNTRYMEN,AND LADIES.

AThaiLadyinHouston, have you ever been to Thailand at all?

Dowries are indeed paid between thais. It's a custom brought by the chinese.

When you leave the tourist areas almost EVERYBODY smiles at the happy farang, including "real thai ladies".

And you find hookers in every town in Thailand, only about 5-10% of the hookers go with tourists.

People People,,,,, you talk about all thai ladies like they r all bad.....there is bad and good all around the world if u r stupid enough 2 fall for a bad thai or farang more fool you, and u wil get burnt...
I hav a thai girlfriend for 3 years and we have a 7 month old baby and she knows not to f@@@ wiv me not cos i would hurt her but just same as alll my girlfriends in the past i wil just get up and leave, move on.... and the same as all my girlfriends they dont want that cos i look after them...
And if u open ur eyes around the world there are hookers everyware....
A very good book 2 read is called PRIVATE DANCER, plz people read it then u wil understand wot some off these thai girls hav been through and why they do wot they do, lets get street wise....(raped by there own fathers is one thing, read the book guys)...

I am sorry folks , but I was wrong about this girl from Korat I have found out she was genuine and I broke her heart.

Warm Greetings to all. Life teaches us to take the good with the bad.
Mickey I am really truly sorry for your hard lessons. However, don't be too hard on yourself. Life is Life, it is not always fair. Look for the lesson to be learned. Things dont happen in life alwaus for the reason we think, in this case in the name of love, but life for sure will teach us what we need to learn and we can either become "Bitter or Better".
Maybe you broke her heart, but for those of us following your story we may still say to you "Count your blessings" If it was meant to be, it would have been.
Many people in a life time either break hearts or have gotten their heart broken repeatedly. Its OK... there is life after for all involved.
I will marry a wonderul Thai woman in July and pay a $10,000usd dowery and I already bought her a nice gold necklace and bracelet. We love each other so much i wouldn't care if it was $100,000usd which is what the parents started asking for. Of course I thought if I marry this woman I will have the rest of our lives to care for her parents so i offered $10,000usd. Fair is Fair.... the parents just want me to love their daughter and care for her, giving her a better life here in the USA. I will do just that to my very best abilty and I will love her family as my own and care for them the same.

Thanks for sharing, Everyone, the good and the not so good. In perspctive we can learn and appreciate all perspectives.

The girl from Korat made out I broke her heart. If you have got a broken heart, you cant eat and sleep, it seems strange to me that you would leave home, go to Bangkok and work alone (thats what she told me.) two and two are still adding to five, anyway it was a stupid idea to get married it would never of worked out. I would be at home wondering what she was doing now. and I dare say not at home twiddling with her fingers. thanks to everyone for your support, nothing is as it seems in Thailand. anyway on songkran day I had a wonderful day with a gorgeous girl.

Mickey,

At last, you seem to have regained your senses. Some of the other posters are right - if you meet a girl in a bar and think you have a future together, you are simply deluding yourself!

Respectable Thai girls ould be horrified at the thought of working in a bar, and however genuine they may seem at first, a bar girl will be very hard to "convert".

Your comment about saving the girl from a life of prostitution, is a very noble thought. However, please remember the saying...

"You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl"

thank you enthusiast. it is hard to see from the inside out. I hope people read about this and avoid the total misery that I went through. I read about a young man that went to Cambodia and dissapeared. When I was taken to this village in Korat I did not tell a single person where I was going, if the family decided to do something with me, no one would ever of found me, and look at the anguish that would of caused my family and friends. tread carefuly and dont jump in, I hope I have helped someone else avoid the hell I went through.

Mickey,

Hope this doesn't sour your overall experience of Thailand...

Be sure to go out there, have fun, foll around...

but when it comes to long term commitments, as Dale earlier pointed out, make sure you know the girl really well before leaping in. I'm sure there are some farang & bar girl relationships that do work out!

No I will not be bitter about it, I have learnt a hell of a lot, I understand Thai culture and speak a fair bit of the language, I certainly will not part with my money again. until the person can prove she loves me. thanks everyone there are some good people out there.

I almost got stiched up until I knew that she was after my money. Well not her. It was her mom wanted her daughter to marry me and wanted me to hand over 2,000.000 bahts. hahaha Because I didn't have the money. The mom said to her daughter in Thai. "He is stingy".

seem to me that "ThailadyinHouston" is very biased against Thai ladies, I wonder are you really a Thai? I have been to Bangkok many times and I have friends who are from respectable and well-to-do family in Bangkok, none of them are like what you have describe, bathing in the sea with jeans and t-shirts on or intimidated by farangs, do not smile etc. Come on, even our mothers will smile if a stranger smiles at them. There are hookers everywhere, not only BKK. Singapore is also infested with China and Vietnam Pros, I dunno why they chose this line but I certainly believe there are sad stories behind their decision or actions, of course I am not saying this can justify their lies or fraud but in the first place, if men didnt frequent their bars or lust after their bodies, how would they even got cheated? I do think that there are nice Thais around, be it man or woman.

thank you to milos, Dale,owl,michael,Taus,docsmith,jay,Dean,tommy and Enthusiast. I hope to meet anyone of you one day and have a drink with you, you give me no negatives, I appreciate the sympathy you gave me. anyone beware of the spell you can be trapped with. I have met some lovely bar girls who have asked for nothing. I have met a few idiot bar girs also,but they are distant memories. one mistake by me doesnt mean all Thai girls are bad. Fon (girl from Korat) broke my heart but I am glad I met her, I learnt a hard lesson. Dont jump in the deep side of the pool if you cant swim. cheers to you all. Mickey

c'mon guys, lets get real here. Most men are aminals, and women are our prey, especially young, good looking ones. Been-there, done-that, I'm sure a lot of you have. I feel for a lot of you. But how many of you actually have experienced the true beauty of Thailand and its people. Thailand is not all about bars and girls. You wont find any beauties there. What you will find is exactly what a lot of you have experienced, a lot of heartaches and empty wallets. C'mon, you are not 19 and 20 year-olds here. I'm sure a lot of you knew exactly what your're doing and what your intentions were. If you want to put yourself in a situation like that, at least know how to play the game. However, if you are truly seeking for long-term relationship, broaden your view and look elsewhere. Lets face it, good women are hard to find.

Thanks casey I take your point, I was not infering that I want to date bar girls, in future no way as you say look elsewhere

I am in Thailand now looking for a girlfriend.

I will never find her in a bar so Im on my way to the smaller towns. Korat , Udon Thani and also finally I will end my trip in Chiang Rai up in the north.

I will take my time and find the right girl, if she's honest , if her family is good people. Even if they're poor they can be trusted. I know other farangs that have been happy married for years with poor Isaan girls. So its up to you , take your time , you should stay in Thailand for at least 2 months to find out who you can trust.
And dont spend a lot of money , its cheap to eat and drink, try to be nice to her , but not too nice. Try to learn a few words in Thai, learn their culture and customs and you will be more respected as a farang .
But if you're choice is to find the nearest beer bar and get drunk , just stay in Pattaya.



Farangs only looking for bargirls will never have a happy ending for sure.

Casey, Mikey, whats wrong with bar girls? the provide a service, a ver good service, theres nothing better than giving a bar girl a good creamy facial and then going home to your wife for some tom yum gai mmmm

Hiya Pi Mickey,

After finished reading all comments, I just happen to get an itchy hand wanting to write my own. lol. This is my 2nd time to write a comment like this as I am a Thai, just like many other Thais who do not really want to give opinions as we are trying as much as possible to avoid conflicts. My first opinion was given for Kat – the first thai Big Brother member – on one of the Thai’s website. As mainly opinions were given toward her are -ve, so I just tried to give some ideas that will help them to be able to think broader - more ve about us – Thai women.

First of all, congrat to Pi Mickey! As you have had just been rescued fm hell. lol .. joking. But, really.. really… I have met, seen, and heard from many men who have been ripped off heartedly as well as financially from Thai B-girls all the time. Your case was nothing compare to theirs.

To look for a good Thai woman is not easy, but it’s not that difficult – if there is a will, there is a way Bro!! Like others said “Go to the decent places to get decent people” ,however, in this case for many tourists who visit Thailand. They might consider majority of pubs, and bars are normal place to hook up wt girls, but it’s not like that in Thailand. As I have lived in a western country for nearly 3 years I realised that in western country particularly this one I am living in (Sorry I can’t mention the name of the country as I want to make sure that I don’t offend anyone, however, you should have known where I live since you first saw my greeting above.) do not have the specific type of the DodGy bars, bars with pinky light for an example, like they do in Thailand. So, I have seen many decent tourists falling for B-girls because, firstly, they don’t know that those girls are B-girls. Second of all, I guess when tourists go to normal bars in Thailand where there are normal Thai women, they might find it hard to get them women, not like B-girls who so welcoming and smiling. In this case, it’s not that Thai women were playing hard to get, but it’s just traditional behaviour of us – these behaviours includes shy, quite, don’t dare to look into your eyes, etc etc. It’s not that they don’t like you, some of them they can even like you so much like they never liked anyone like they like you before, but they are just shy!! So.. what you need to do is BE PATIENT.

Also, other decent places to get a good Thai women can be at the cinemas, café’, the malls, universities – I think uni is a good place to meet Thai women as majority of them come from good families; good families here need not to be rich families it also means families who realise how important education is, and want their kids to be able to walk on their own feet in the future so they encourage and support their kids to gain the highest educations they can – you might also find some educated Thai women from poor families that even better I think.. Why? Because you can see that them girls are trying hard to be able to be independent as they realise that education will help them to get better future apart fm working experience. And we all know that educations take time – it’s a process – where you have to be patient, dedicated, and work hard for it. However, for some people they would say that B-girls don’t have opportunities, some are poor, and some have to feed their families. But schools are free until high school. Moreover, there are any other ways to find work apart from turning to be a B-girl. Getting jobs in Thailand for Thai ppl is very easy particularly those manual work. Not like in western countries – there are a lot of competitions, law and regulations, taxes, NI number, etc etc. Also manual works in western country is very hard as I am the one because it’s a lot more compromise among working style in Thailand. In westurn countries – they make sure that you have something to do every minute you are working.

As well some people might say .. BUT pay in Thailand is nothing, so what?? But TOO!! expenses in Thailand is nothing as well!! Foods are everywhere.. Fresh and Cheap!! So, I m not so sure that to be a B-girl in Thailand is by destiny or ChoiCE – to get easy money!!

Next, Good Thai women come with Good Manners! They don’t eat SouP ( liquid u know liquid it’s not like dry KFC Chicken or Burger King burger) with their hands nor striking a post like they came out from Playboy magazines, would be more acceptable if they are posing like they came out fm GQ – a bit more classy!!

Next of the next, Good Thai women might be a bit to extremely shy when it comes to holding hands, kisses, or .... u know what I’m going to….. Please don’t back off and think that they are not interested it’s just another cultural diff here as we don’t tend to express our emotions particularly in the public places. Also, this is even more important – some of Good Thai women are scared of tourists because we have seen a lot in the movies that you quite rough when it comes to ….xxxx…. as you can see that we are very gently so just try to be as gently/soft as much as possible. But when she trusts you and if you know to put it into the right button she might transform from a serious librarian to a TiGer!! Many Good Thai women like foreigners too, not just B-girls. We think that You guys are soooooooooo Cute and very Romantic when comparing to Thai guys.

Anyway, there are other tips to get a Good Thai women but it’s late now and I am getting sleepy, so hopefully those ideas I gave would help.

Will be cont’ later on….

Bye for now.

john nothing wrong with bar girls, Ive me some really nice girls, but some not so nice girls, One girl I went with for years, she asked me for a washing machine for her mother, i didnt give it to her. She talked me into getting a gold ring , I told her if she pawned it Buddha will punish you, next time I saw her , I asked her where it was, " I pawned it ,I didnt have any money". Chak I know people have been ripped off worse than me, I advise anyone who thinks they are being tucked up, you probably are, trust your instincts thats what I did, it hurt but I think I was heading for worse, I was watching one of my videos, and the girl was on the phone talking Thai, then at the end of the conversation she said "we will meet soon I promise" I had about four days left. Chak cant wait for more advice.

Chak can you tell us some horror stories

Hi everyone,
I am a Thai woman who married an Australian man. We've been together 12 years and still going strong...
Our situation might be a bit different from most people.
I came here (Australia) to do my Master degree. My parents were both accountants and worked for government department. After finished the uni, I got a job in a travel business and decided to stay in Australia for a while to get more experience including English language.
I met my husband later. We got on well and did the usual things like dating etc.. then we got engaged and married one year later. Also my husband wasn't a wealthy man.
We both were working and earning income.. We decided to continue living in Australia because my husband felt more comfortable here and I agreed to that.
But unfortunately my husband got sick and couldn't continue working. Since then until now, I am the one who take all responsibility and look after our family. Working 7 days a week (having half a day off on Sunday), Cooking, Cleaning, are my day to day life for nearly 10 years..
Of course we go on holiday somewhere once a year (except the last 2 years as we moved our business premises and we just couldn't get away)
Often people're prejudging us.. as I must be a lucky hooker who caught a big fish or something in that line.. even some people asked my husband "where did you buy her from? Patpong or Pattaya"...even I am nothing near being a hooker at all... I'm not a beautiful slim young girl!! but people who looked at us always think in that term.
No matter where we go.. Australia, Thailand or other countries.. people always think that way. Actually I don't blame them as we met lots of Thai women who "caught" a big fish here!! like you all said.. Those type of women just after the money and more comfortable life..but not every Thai women who married a Westerner are the same..at least I am the different one...

Mananad, I sympathise with you and the way people prejudge you. My mother is Essan, she has a bachelors degree and used to be a teacher. (Until I came along - oops :) !) I get sick of people trashing Thai women because it feels like a personal attack, I can't say how many times someone's thrown bad comments around and then looked at me and said, "You should know all about that, you're Thai". They don't realize that this happens in any country, if you pick up women in a cheezy drunk house, that's what you are going to get. Too bad most visitors don't even think they can find a good person outside those kinds of areas. Contrary to popular belief the MAJORITY of Thai women are wonderful people, you just don't see them because they aren't throwing themselves at your feet like b-girl-predators do, hell, it doesn't even have to be a b-girl-My cousins are gold digging snakes, and the rest of the family does not speak to them because of it, nor does the family ask the guys for any money, it would be shameful. Instead my grandmother gives US money.

Mananad and half-Essan - Good to hear your stories. Of course, there a lot of respectable Thai ladies. I think it's a real shame that people tarnish a whole gender of a race because of a minority of people. I've had the same experience - being with a Thai friend and people assuming there's something 'wrong'.... you know, all those looks you get!

My hubby's stepmother is a Thai. I always believe that Thai women r not the materialistics type as compared to China women who cheat people's money or broke up people's family.
My hubby's stepmother is actually the 1 who works hard for the family 6 days a week for long hours each day. She was working as a Thai masesseus when she was in Thai so after she's married here, she continues in e same job.
People always ask my father-in-law where she bought this wife etc... But no 1 sees that she is not having a luxurious life here, in fact she is the 1 supporting the family!
My good pal's mother came fm Thai too. Though they belong to e slightly above average family in terms of financial, her mother too works hard everyday in order to help in her husabd's business. She does not only sit back to enjoy the luxuries. N her parents told me that before they were married, they worked 20 hours a day together n thus get what they r having today. When my friend's mum married her dad, her dad was a just a normal worker surviving on his monthly restricted salary ...
I strongly believe that most Thai women r not how people described. Definately not!!

By the way, my hubby's stepmother is a pure Thai masesseus. N not those hanky-panky ones though she always got mistaken by people here...

I married a Thai sheila and she didn't ask for money for here family. In fact they had nothing to do with the wedding. We got married in the Banglamung office and that was it. just us 2 and 2 witnesses. Maybe I'm just lucky to get an honest one. 11 years down the track and it's smooooth sailing.
I have heard about a lot of bad stories about Thai wives sending men broke or up the wall and doing worse things but all the Thai women I know are not like that. All the bad stories seem to come from the people that do frequent the bad areas or red light districts of Thailand and become involved with professional girls who have no longer a need to sell themselves but do it because the like it or have made a career out of it. There is a difference between the different types of girls out there. The hardcore business women or the innocent naive girls who have no choice but to get by.

One can live very cheap in Thailand. Thats to say, as long as you stay away from Thai people. Especially the woman, falangs usely get the poor and bad ones because decent Thai woman consider Thai woman dating falangs being all hookers! Thai told me only a few lucky falangs meet a decent woman. If you marry a poor woman, usely from the Isaan, you will be paying bills forever.
Bring them to Europe they will start working, usely in restaurants, and sent allmost everything they earn to Thailand. So within ten or 15 years they can return to a wealthy home. With or without the falang. Usely without. In Thailand take out your new family and pay restaurant bills. At home in the Isaan the small motorbikes will be running to and from the liquor store. Of course with 500 bath from our falang every time. Not much he thinks! In the Isaan a lot. Take the whole family on a short trip with a rented car and spent 800 euro in 4 days time Hotels, food (Thais eat almost every two hours, especially if somebody else is paying) Gas car rent etc. Off course after a few years a house has to be build. Of course its a lot better to rent a house (cheap) But they want land (the falang can never own it so its a gift to them) and a house on it. So in case the falng isnt there anymore the house will still be there. Besides when the falang is back home they can live in it for free. And so on. Now I would like to hear some stories told by poor falangs having hooked a rich Thai girl!! Just the opposite from what usely is going on. Anybody? If the falang has 2 million Euro of course he can get a wealthy Thai woman. No I want a story from a poor falang. Anyway its very difficult in Thailand for a poor woman to marry a wealthy Thai. They can only become the Mia Noi (second wife) of the wealthy man. Thais are very aware of their position in society. Besides they dont want to end up like the falang feeding and housing extended familys in the Isaan.

Tip: If you want to be popular in an Isaan village just buy a few hundred bottles of Lao Khao (liquor only 70 bath a bottle. Buy many buy even cheaper!) and get the whole village drunk. You will be a well respected man!!

You know when you’re being scammed whey you hear things like:
Farang: I’m not sexy Honey. I’m FAT!
Thai Girl: I no like man thin too much!

Farang: But I’ve got no hair!
Thai Girl: Oh, I no like man have big hair na!

Farang: But I’ve got black teeth!
Thai Girl: Oui, I no like white teeth. Look same, same not real!

Farang: But I smoke too many cigarettes
Thai Girl: I think man smoke cigarette very sexy na kha 

Farang: But I’m very old!
Thai Girl: No, not old for me! I don’t like young man. He butterfly too much!

And if ever you walk away from that little lot and think you just happen to have the look they like out here, then you deserve to be scammed…

Falang pompui! Big money! Well some of those fat ugly old falangs dont care they are being wripped off. Less boring then back home where nobody pays attention to me, they say. Some take another lady each month. They know its just for the money. Once somebody asked a 70 years old millionair the next question. You marry a 25 year old girl. You realise she marries you just for your money? Of course he answers. She wants my money I want her body. We both get what we want. So what? Pathetic though are those old man falling in love with a young girl and vain enough to think they are still good looking .Falang woman are less stupid. They dont believe all those smooth stories of Thai man (there are exceptions) Thai man just wanting to go to Europe. Or simply freeloaders. Thailand sells illusions. Thailand makes old man believe they are still atractive. Thailand gives the poor working class ugly man the illusion to be a moviestar during his holidays. Realise its an illusion. After fun go home and forget the smooth talking ladies. Until next year!

Farangs are lucky enough to be born into comparitively wealthy lives (food drink shelter even healthcare provided) - The Thais have discovered how to re distribute that false wealth. Genuine wealthiness comes from the inner self - most of you ( and not all of you) deserve what you get which is spurred by your own desires, Thailand has more good things to teach you if you bother looking and asking the questions and opening your mind to learn. Try sparing a thought for the 16 yr old uneducated girl that fks a grandad to take care of her family ( she will become a ruthless money extractor before she is 21). If you truly believe you get what you deserve you will account for your actions and then eventually get what you need.

Yes Mr Farang. I met a monk in the Esan. He lives in a cave. He was not interested in my money! Thats when I found out they are not all the same!

My Thai wife is the youngest of nine children and her parents died a long time ago so no "sin sod" dowry and its just another way of ripping the farangs off.
Don't pay any money when you get married as you will pay plenty later

I go to my GF village' south of Sirin, there are new homes going up in the village's and modern cars driving around on the dirt roads' and most farming families have a tractor to work their feilds and the ones that don't can easy get hold of one to use from the neighbor. The schooling is excelent, the people are proud but modest.

Sure some like to drink' but nothing out of the ordinary that i don't see in my country, if the days work is done then why not have a party. They don't need to wear fancy clothes so you don't see much of that, same as what i would see in any farming community back at home too. Just the same as when i grew up in a rural farming community only better i think' with all the friendly comrardary that goes on in Thai culture. You always get a couple of Bums' so what, its their life. The only difference from my country is they don't get a wellfare cheque.

All that i see lacking is the Government Utilities infrostructure that we all take for granted in remote locations in our own countries.

About Thai Ladies' my Thai friends tell me how to manage them their way. If you find a Lady you like, you give her money and if she respects you she will spend it modestly and won't ask for much, if you give her money and she is greedy and ask for more and more then she is not going to be good for you "STOP" start again, there is always more Ladies to meet. It is not complicated at all, no need to get ripped off.

Nobody is at the mercy of con-artists, quite the other way around. If you don't have much integrity then stick to bar girls' there is probaly not going to be much hope for you in relationships with anybody from any country 'period'.

Right mr tm

I think a lot of falangs get what they deserve. They come to Thailand to find not just a good wife, they want a good and more important, a good looking wife,preferable some 20 years younger. Of course being old and not that attracktive anymore they cannot find a wife like that at home. Then they are suprised they are taken to the cleaners. Well the young good looking Thai lady of course would prefere a good looking young man as well. The only reason to marry the falang is his money. The falang comes to Thailand dreaming of a beautifull young sexy body. That is were it goes wrong in the first place. And than they always expect gratitude. I got her out of the bar! I got her out of the shit. I have been the rescuer on the white horse, like in a fairytale. And now she does to me this. But she gave something too. Her body. To a man she disgusts. She thinks he should be gratefull for that and pay her for it!

Oi Fritz - We won the War so speak English!

Talking dictionaries are a popular way to learn a little english in Thailand'
If the (good) girl knows how to speak english then she can get a good job' say in resorts and hotels for example.
They will often get an english speaking penpal to chat with and fine tune their practice, but of course usualy the penpal has other ideas in mind.

After reading all this stuff about Thai women and I do live in Thailand I asked my wife if she would still love me if I had no money.
She said of course she would still love me and she would miss having me around the place as well.

I am married to a Thai, and I convinced they are just all after the money. But thats just my opinion.

Joey pont really taken there, there are so many beutiful thai ladies here and I picked a ugly one, dammm you are a phsycic........NOB

Dave might be right. I know people here married to Thai woman for many many years. Esan woman. Not all are rotten. But one has to be lucky. I know a lot of people in the thai community in Amsterdam. I know somebody being married to a Thai callgirl. Nice person she doesnt drink play cards nothing bad to say about her. The point is, risk is very high you get a bad one. I know different stories too. People, not stupid, good jobs here, ending up buying a house 80000 euro in the Esan that falls apart after a few years because they used bad materials.Family took away the good stuff. A bar owner lost his bar his money and of course his young Thai wife when the money was all transfered to Thailand. A man inherited a farm and land in Holland. Enough money for the rest of his live.Never had a girlfriend Didnt have to work again. Went to Thailand for a holiday. Met beautifull girl.Well now he is poor and has no wife anymore All the money transfered to Thailand. Somebody here divorced his Thai wife. Money had been sent for over ten years. Well she worked in a restaurant. She was able to sent about 1000 Euro a month to Thailand only because the Dutchman payed the rent and everything She took care off the food only.It off course came free from the restaurant. Off course in the divorce everything will be split up. But not the land big house and two cars in Thailand nor the truck they bought there. I asked him about it. No change he said he said to get back anything. Nothing on paper. Just be carefull.

I have just returned from a three day stopover in Bangkok (first time there) and was fasinated by the gullible old men who where being fleeced left right and centre by the Thai girls out there. What are these silly old sods looking for apart from the obvious. I saw one old guy with two of them either side of him giggling and laughing behind his back about him when he went to pay the bill for a meal they had just finished. He returned back and asked them if they would like to go and see a movie...They answered 'No we go shopping now' he looked very bewildered by it all to say the least but off he trotted with them. Bangkok is filled with stupid old white western men being ripped off at every available opportunity. Sorry to say it but they deserve everything they get... and that wont be much looking at the state that some of them are in.

hmm'

I think if i was old and rich i would be thinking to myself' gee how am i going to spend all my money before i die ??

well who needs to fill in the blanks'

It only supprises you the first time you see it' don't worry its normal day activity in Go Go land.

Woman are the same everywhere. After their last divorce one can put himself on the internet. In Holland , Australia. Dont forget to mention you have a good job, your own house and a car otherwise no woman will write you a mail. Example: 30 year old man good looking, but unemployed or factoryhand looks for kaukasian native good looking blond 20 to 30 years old. Second example: 55 year old man no hair fat but his profession is banker looking for the same young blondys. He owns a villa and two cars Goes to Hawai every year. Has one million on the bank. Just tell me which of the two will get the most mail from our good looking blonds? Whats the difference with Thailand? Woman are idealistic when they are 18 After a few deceptions most of them will look for a man who takes care of them.One who has a good job.No loosers. Love gets less important. Thai woman also just want someone that can take care of them and their children or future children.

tit are you that man with the black wig i often see in pattaya. I wish I could afford to live in Thailand but I cant afford to do so myself,cos the state doesnt give me enough money, I havnt got a tv because I cant afford to pay for the tv licence. I live on a tin of baked beans a day to save up for a holiday in Thailand, its worth it though just to see rich old men like you beeing fleeced by sub human prostitutes, in a tropical paradise. I cant help being a moron because I got shot in the head by a taliban. and the UK government wouldnt give me compensation. I am fkn jealous of you.

I married a lady from essan, she worked for the same company as me when I worked in Thailand, she ended up a worse golddigger than any bar girl I can think of. She ended up playing cards with her friends and losing all her money, seeling her gold. She used to demand up to 70,000 baht per month, needless to say we are finished.She had a good family who worked and had money and never asked for anything from me. She still e mails and asks for money. Just be careful and watch out for the signs.

Sorry to hear that, it seems the odds are stacked against the trusting farangs. you think you have got a good one and it goes pear shaped. but I hope you will remember the good times, the sad thing here is the family were nice people, a lot of people have told me that it is the family putting pressure on the girls to get money out of you. she ended up playing cards and spending all of her money ( dont you mean all of your money ) selling the gold that sounds the worst part as you must of given it in good faith. 70,000 baht a month is a hell of a lot of money, i hope it wasnt too long before you realised what was happening. all the best

Dowries are common in Thailand. The amount of the dowry is linked to the social status of the bride. Bar girls have a very low social status therefore attempting the dowry of an educated Thai woman from a wealthy family is pushing their luck to see if they can get away with it. A dowry of millions of Baht is payable in the case of marriage to an elite Thai woman from a very rich family (whether the Thai is farang or Thai). As land is the basic form of wealth in Thailand, such a woman will bring a lot of land with her to the marriage. I have known my g/f for about six years and I am thinking we should probably settle down and have children next year. She isn't a bar girl, has a certain amount of land in her own name and has a good job (I don't send her money to support herself/family (she has never asked for a Baht) - in fact she pays the monthly loan payments on our 4x4 from her salary - I paid the deposit - that was the deal). On the couple of occassions we've talked about it the figure of Baht 300,000 - 400,000 for a dowry has been mentioned - which I am assured will be returned to me immediately for building a house). After six years I guess I trust her - she hasn't done anything fraudulent so far. However, I will be having a lawyer in my home country draft the pre-nup and will also be taking legal advice from a friend who is a law professor in Thailand (we did our PhDs together under the same professor in my home country) which will include a written agreement between her mother and me that the dowry will be given straight back to me after the marriage ceremony for land/house which will legally belong to me. There are restrictions on foreigners owning the freehold of land in Thailand but that's what lawyers are there to find a structure that deals with this. Alternatively, I may structure it so that I can use the money towards buying a condo. for us to live in in downtown BKK - which there is no problem about a foreigner (me) owning. I will also be taking advice about the extent (if at all) that land that her land comes into my ownership/legal control after we get married. The idea then is to pay the normal amount of dowry (so as to preserve the family honour) without taking the risk that I'll be ripped off. Before risking this amount of money I'll be taking plenty of legal advice (I am a qualified lawyer (although I lecture rather than practise) and I am not an expert in family law / Thai law). It amazes me the number of foreigners that risk their life savings when getting married to Thai women without taking compehensive legal advice / creating legal structures that mean that they are legally protected if things go wrong with the marriage.
This is what I'm doing for myself; maybe there are some things in there that are useful to others.

With all the lawyer stuff this sounds more like a bank fusion than a marriage. But I agree One cannot trust anybody. You did well

If the family of ones Thai girlfriend hasnt anything offer the couple like land there is no reason for the man to pay a dowry.Their has to be some kind of balance. An educated and or wealthy Thai man would never marry a bar girl. The stories of falangs paying dowrys for that kind of women make them laugh. Here in Amsterdam I wouldnt marry a girl from the red light district either. Its true the money of the dowry should be invested in house and land of the new couple. The land is often provided by the brides family. The dowry can also be saved for the later education of future children.
Still I hear a lot of THAIS complaining after divorce after 2 or 3 years of marriage that the 100000 bath dowry is lost. It was spent on the wedding party. The wifes family should take care of that and the guests are supposed to donate money. But in the Esan most guests dont donate a lot because they dont have a lot. So the money of the dowry is gone. Usely there is a lot of negociation about the height of the dowry. If you (Mr Ian) have a contract to get it all back (on your private account), negociation seems to become unnecessairy. You might just as well give 2 million. Make the family show of. Or does the contract say you should invest all the money of the dowry in a house?

How materialistic is Thai society. Talks are always about money. Marriage is a money issue. In their conversations the word bath is heard over and over. I speak a good deal of Thai, but formely I only understood the word bath in every second sentence. Budhisme for the layman is not more then a ritual. The bath is worshipped.

i find the whole money thing very interesting' it is indeed very wise to have your 'finger on the pulse' regarding money and the Asian cultures are very good at it' (not meaning ripping people off' that happens everywhere, just good use of every dollor) everything is an asset towards prosperity including marriage. westerners can take this entirly out of context because we are not used to being looked at in this way regarding relationships.

time nor money is wasted if there is an opportunity to start a business or create wealth for the family, if so and so is this old' and they have this much money' they can be this rich in x amount of years, or this is as wealthy as they will ever be'. it is taught from an early age in China. not all have the chance too become wealthy of course but i think Asian cultures are more aware of when that moment for success can be utilised.

We westerners always had the reputation of being materialistic. In Thailand even religion often becomes a money issue. Buying amulets in tempels, giving donations, buying fans and other equipment for the temple: Tham boon. Your name and the amount of money donated by you written on the temple wall.This tham boon so is widly believed will assure you a good rebirth. Like buying a stairway to haeven.
Sincere buddhists like Ajarn Maha Bowa and the late ajarn Maha Mum living in the wood and in shacks are looked upon as saints. By making them saints one makes them exceptions, supernatural beings whose excample cannot be followed.So one keeps on worshipping the bath. Not everybody is born to be a saint. Its very common the for Thai to believe that being rich in this live is the result of the good deeds (giving money) in former live. Just money issues. Talking about the Chinese. A writer who married a chinese girl in Thailand once wrote about some ceromony (remebering the deceased) He wasnt allowed to take part. He waited outside. The chinese asked him to write down the car numbers for them (of the ones attending the ceremony) so to use this numbers for the comming lottery

This "always calculating" might indeed be the maim cause of my "conflicts" with Thai culture. But may be I am judging them to hard. We have a good system of social security in Holland. In Thailand, except for a greedy extremly rich upperclass and a small allthough growing middleclass, the fast amountof people is just struggling to survive. I never had to

Good post Theo'

I wanted to go in that direction.

If people understand these local traditions they will have a much more relaxing time in Thailand and perhaps have a better judgement on what is good and what is not when being talked into giving their hard won money to somebody for something in return, espechialy in the relationship department, and not think that every Thai person is out to scam them.


.

Still looking for paredise and find out it doesnt excist. My first visit was like a visit to paradise. Deceptions came later. I found out Thais are human beings like all of us. Some good some bad, most half of both. Maybe first impression being to good the more deception afterwards. Still I have little to complain. I didnt get ripped off by girls. Only victim of small scams. I have been thinking quiting my job here and go in a monastry in Thailand. But it might turn out to become another deception. Monks in Bangkok in big cars with mobile phones and watching Muy Thai.It might even make me more cynical.Thais often look at the three months they are supposed to spent in the temple as a millitairy draft, one cannot avoid. Not being allowed to party and drink. Enough for today. I write to much here. And some thinks I regret to have written.

Interesting is that Thai girls who immigrated her with there mother when 10,12 or 13 years old now 18, 19, speaking Thai and dutch fluently, saying they feel Thai but influenced of course by dutch culture often complain to me about their ever calculating Thai mothers. Every dutch boyfriend is checked out. How much money is there in his family? Will he become a lawyer or doctor? Dont waste your time with havenots.

Theo. you know deep down where it is going to end up, you quit your job go to a monastry, you will end up without a penny. you will give your last penny to a so called monk, you said it a draft dodger. try to get a penny back, no chance. I spent a month in a temple and beleived what they told me. what have I got now nothing but a memory. A monk doing his chants, smoking during his chants on his mobile phone, this is not what a way I thought a bhuddist monk would act. he got plenty of money out of me. But I was warned and didnt heed it . When I walked around with him I was suprised at the amount of Thai people didne give him a wai. He ripped me off and used the girl I was with to get more money out of me. I dont know what to think of the monks now, The monk with no shoes walking along the highway? I do not know

Yes Like I said monks using mobile phones watching muay Thai, driving in mercedes benz through Bangkok. I also met monks living in caves sleeping on wooden shelves. I also heard stories, told by villagers, of monks destoying beautiful caves in the Esan. Together with the Phor Yai Barn (village head)and other scammers they sold the minarals by kilo found in the stalagnites in the cave. I saw the ruined wonder of nature with my own eyes. Many readers of all the u b.. sh..I published here might wonder why I am still wasting my time with Thailand. I will tell you: After my first visits, I liked Thailand very much in those days, I decided to learn the language.
I thought it would be easy like learning spanish, english or german.
But the mountain was higher then I thought. Spent 5, you hear, five years learning it. I am not living in Thailand.I go there 2 months a year. That makes it a lot more difficult. All those hours I spent. Even in the weightroom listening to Thai lessons though earplugs!! NOW I UNDERSTAND 70% OF THAI TV HERE!I reaching my target!I cannot give it up now! You understand?Yes,it was my own choise! May be it was an obsession to learn it! How many days it took me only to learn januari to december! I cannot let it go now! Its like the Thais are in debt with me for all the effort I made.

I met a girl in koh samui 4 years ago. Told me she was 20, wanted to get married after a few weeks. found out she was only 15...had previously worked in a bar when she was just 14.....finished when I found out the age. she has since married twice and now works in a dive shop in Phuket after getting rescued from the Coyote bar....be careful, they are out there for sure.

who did she marry,a farang twice?. does a bhuddist wedding mean anything?, can a Thai girl marry as many times as she wants? is she entitled to half to everything when you marry in a temple. surely not
Is it legally binding, do you sign papers?

Mr Tomski is lucky not to have end up in jail considering the age of his previous girlfriend

as far as i understand the Thai wedding thus far' Village Wedding (Buddhist Wedding) is only cerimonial in nature and not legaly binding, only moraly binding.
just like in Western country you have to attend the local Government office that deals with marriage and be registered legaly if that is what you want.
if anyone else can be more specific that would be great.

A religious ceremony on its own is not recognised as being valid under Thai law. It has to be performed according to Thai law. One has to be registered at the Amphur (district office) One get a certificate then in Thai. You can find a lot of info on internet about the subject. Also a lot of dont and warnings.
One should read them well. Dont trust your future bride. Many did and ended up like beggars.
Read their stories.
A wise man learns from his own mistakes. A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.

Of course she might be okay Not all marriages between falangs and Thais end up in a disaster. But about 90% do end in a disaster. Not only an emotional disaster, but for the falang also a financial disaster. In case of the fanancial risk, there is plenty information how to protect your assets. But most falangs act like a deheaded chicken.

I have been in a go-go bar and I do not go to find a girl friend I never consider that. I stay in the bar unless it’s cheap to take the girl out but it’s just evening entertainment not a sexual relationship. I have been close to finding a girl friend on two occasions and I still speak to them I would only go out with a Thai I met physically out and about and not in a bar. The first girl I met worked as a waitress in a hotel restaurant I asked for her email address and she now works in the anti money laundering office and she does computer studies but she wasn’t interested in going out with me but I still see her when I go to Thailand. The other girl I met is a better experience. I met her in Urdon Tani in the shopping mall, I was sitting on a bench and she was getting her new id card. I saw her with her friend and I looked at her and she was walking off I waved at her and she waved back then beaconed me to come over and any way she spent the whole day with me after that and the night and the next day but I won’t be going out with her because she goes out with another guy from England and she didn’t know him that well so I suppose she thought it was ok spending the night with me well I keep in touch with her also. none of the girls I have met beg me to buy big things ok one girl I did meet there through the internet asks me to buy a ring but it goes out the ear because I don’t commit to anything unless I fully know someone well I am going back in January and I am going to never trust bar girls and be more cautious after reading this so thanks for sharing your stories.
Harry UK

Hi,

Here is a good solution for you falangs. If your so called thai wifes asks you to buy a house in issan, you can own the land 100% indirectly, no need to put anything in your wifes name or her family's name.

This is how you do it

1. Set up a thai corporation with a help of a lawyer or agent
The costs 3000BHT to government, 2000BHT to agent or lawyer.
This is only US$120 a year

2. Buy the house using the that corporation. This can be done because
The corporation is thai itself, this thus making it a thai entity

3. Because you own the 100 %shares in the thai corporation, means you also also own the land and
the houses or cars that that the thai corporation has bought.

This is a good solution as everything will be in your name and thus any scam on her part will be futile.

If she decides to divorce you, she will not get much, because most of your money is in the corporation, thus legally you own nothing but only own indirectly.

But remember guys, if she is honest and good to you, be fair to her, but protect your interests first

Let us keep this thai law code as a falang secret :) wink

Lawyer, good advice, thats what we did when we purchased our home in Nong Khai.

If you mixed with prostitutes, pimps, and no-hopers in your own communty, you would have to expect to be scammed and thieved from by them, unless you were one of them. Many of the bargirls working in the bars of Thailand are reasonable people doing something that would not always be their first choice, but is a necessity. A number don't like it and leave after the first two months, and those who stay have basically lost their place in normal thai society. Many girls enjoy many aspects of bargirl life, and don't want to do anything else. Every other thai person knows where they come from, and generally won't have anything to do with them (or their companions). I have thai friends (women), who will not join me if they know one of my friends has a bargirl as a companion(koonorn). Will not be seen with them. The girls who work in bars long term virtually have their own sub-culture. It is this sub-culture that most farang mix with, and believe that all thai people are like this - "they're all the same,etc,". Nothing could be further from the truth. The problem for farang is that unless they have a reasonable command of thai language, and are interested enough to get involved with ordinary thai society, they will never see the real Thai. The other side is of course that a lot of thai don't mind it that way.
I'm sure that for every bad experience one farang has, another will have a good experience. We never hear about them. The successful marriages with bargirls (I know a few) are never mentioned - but they do exist.
I'm amazed at some of the silly things we farang fall for, but to curse all thai people for our silly mistakes is just unfair.

Sua, finally an intelligent poster!, well thought out, well said..... up here in NK, most of our friends are Thai, they range from Tuke Tuk drivers who bring their families around to cook for us, teachers, doctors... we tend to steer well clear of the unsavoury farangs who live up here/ and or doing the proverbial border crossing. Language is important, and the Thais respect you if you can speak Thai .... the times I have become frustrated when foreigners in the country of my origiin havent even bothered to learn the language , its no different here in Thailand.

Oh! Happy Christmas everyone and a good Sawadee Pee Mai!

Happy christmas

I married and divorced Thai lady all within 2 years, she was not a bargirl, she worked in our offices. After we were married I found out she was losing all her money playing cards, she lost and gave away everything, all the wedding gold, monthly allowance, and she was constantly asking for more, sometimes up to 60 th baht.When we first went out she told me she couldnt get pregnant, then suddenly she was better and had a baby (its mine) We have a kid who is up North and I send 10th baht monthly to her parents who are looking after her. I am now constantly getting begging letters from the ex wife and her parents. I have changed my phone numbers, my e mail it has been a nightmare. I went to Thai lawer and he told me too ignore her as she has no claim on anything now we are divorced. I think I was set up.

Happy New Year!

A tight rein comes to mind Peter! sorry to hear you have been hurt by this... the greatest tradegy is having a child that you are obviously are not able to see without it costing you thousands of Bhart. at least with your 10K a month the whole family are living pretty well!

ooh guys how many of you getting ripped of by young thai girls

guys in their late 30's40s,50's,60's jumping high and low to have a relationship with somone 20-30 years yunger than yourself trowing monies at them you get what you pay for a rental wife

have a look in the mirror first ..... a young girl 19 years old stunning figure cute face
( from a falang guys point of veiw )
why on earth would she want to be with a old ,fat or ugly guy maby all !!!

would any of the girls in your own country that age look at you and say your hansome and mean it
would they even go on a date with you ... let alone marry you ... lol

try looking for girls closer to your own age ..... 5 - 10 year diffrence even a western woman might date you then

dont blame thai girls for scamming you............. your asking for it

I dated 3 thai girls in 2 years
1st a older than me very attative 41 years old
2nd a younger 25 years old
3rd a 33 years old with a face like a angel

even had the fortune to meet a stunning 52 year old thai lady
all i can say is if she had been single i would have loved to date her
well if she wante too :)

the first sign of them asking for monies ... well guess what i aint got none to give away
im not poor but i aint ritch enough to trow monies around like toiletpaper i work for my $
they where gone quickly and for the better


look before you start any thing to serius and ask your self the question
WHY WOULD SHE BE WITH YOU ... your $ or you heart

im happly married to a thai girl
shes 30 and im 38

good luck to your all

...and im 40, top trumps!

Doug, how true is that, mind you I know a few really happily married people with a great age difference and it is a pleasure to be in their company, but I know where you are coming from, and quite honestly Doug, seeing these little girls alongside fat old men isnt too pleasing on the eye but hey if they are happy for a few hours who am I ........... lol

Hi doug, sure paying for meals movies etc is ok, but outright sponsoring of someone able to look after themselves is bull****. Paying a retainer each month is incredible in this day and age. Why does western culture come last in these crazy marriage arrangements compared to the one which is not even the modern thai culture but a form of scam to trap gullible western men into paying lazy family members up country to get drunk and gamble all day, new pick up trucks to gain face, moto cy for brother me etc etc etc. Never forget which side is putting the most into the partnership and surely both cultures count in a cross culture partnership?

Culture difference dwarfs any age gap.

Most of the girls in these relationships get blamed unfairly for the excessive demands of their seemingly helpless family members. Theyre trying to do their best to help their families but are pressured to ask for more and more by them.

The big picture needs to be looked at here and its not the pretty one in the Thai Airways advertisements.
So much more to these girls backgrounds than meets the eye.

Thankyou to the lawyer who wrote on 17th Dec, that has helped me a lot. But, what happened to Theo, he hasn't written anything for a long time, since 15th Novem. Where are you Theo, i realy enjoy reading what you have to say, i hope you keep up with it 'writing'. don't give up. Your ideas are very valuable, i hope to hear from you soon, Cheers

By the way, I'm new to this site, and it's a fantastic site, I have learned a lot, it's good that people can share their experiences, we can all learn

Michael, I think Theo is away on his vacation right now, I miss his blogs as well, hopefully he is enjoying the warmer weather somewhere here in Asia and will resume his writing

its not the age gap that im against im aware of the culture thai girls offen marrying older than their own age in thai culture

..... its the mentalety of falang going to thailand renting a girl the way they do
they are destroying many generations of girls as thise girls will never get any real jobs or education
what happens to them when they are no longe young and attrative no more ?
no thai man would want them i know that much

ive sat down with bargirls ... ( i dont drink and i dont sleep with bargirls )
and talked with them for hours on end about where they are from why they do what they do ...
when you get a girl to talk and tell the real stoy of her life ...

they risk their life evry time they go with some guy that pays 1000 bht up ( $28 AUD ) for a nights plesure
AIDS and othere std's
would any of you risk your life at work for 30 bucks ... i know i wouldnt !!!


i have a deep respect for bargirls who workin a bar to feed their kid and improve their family life
a lot of the ones ive spent time talking to only do it out of need
they hate what they do and their familys more offen than not dont know

( a respect that stems from a freind that at 20 years of age
who out of need with dept ( from her ex bf ) no education and a baby
in a western world needed to get ahead in life she did the hardest trade in the world
as prostetute for 2 years now shes educated and have a top excutive job )

if they get AIDS there is no more work in the bar for them and when they return home
offen they are treated as outcasts no longer wanted by their family

but to sort of stay on track with marrige scam's
why would any one in their rite mind throw 1000's of $ at a girl thtat you like
after spending a short time with her

would any guy in their rite mind throw that kind of $ at any white girl back home
so why let yourself be sucked in by a tan beauty
if your smart enough to earn some coin .

dont let you lonly love hungry heart and horny body parts
fall for some girls charm and manipulation

pighoglet

the scam is not the norm in thai culture
its the norm in turist areas due to the long term influence of $ to some of the areas
yes they do send monies back to the family
but they also spend a lot of the monies on them self maintaining a lifstlye with a wardrobe and makeup
to fit in to the turist areas

any one who gets away from turist areas will get a better veiw of thailand
even in BKK you can rent a room in a non turisty area i did
and i didnt see a white person for 3 weeks
had the best time there
yea cumunication is harder but you get to meet real people ...
not the spoiled turist thais



ever wonderd why thai girls as you where you have been in thailand
if you meet a realy good thai girl and i mean good family background
if you where to tell here pattya .or any other filth area
you can say bye bye to her cos she wont be with a filthy guy like that

thais now look down on areas like pattya cos of what they stand for SEXTURIST GO THERE

adventure experince is evrything
we can all go to a hotel and live but where is the fun
in that

My post was merely observational.

I have a Thai Chinese partner and have travelled around Thailand a fair bit including living in the Issan area because of my first Thai gf some years ago,had a great time and great memories. Lived most of the last year in Bangkok in apartments in and out of the tourists areas so I am reasonably informed as to how things are.

Sure the golden mile of sukhumvit road has spoiled some people and given others unfair expectations and it has to be said that the girls who work around this location come from all over Thailand and news travels to almost everywhere no matter how remote when the girls go home.

It is possible to go to Pattaya and not be a sex tourist, my partner and I went and stayed in the peninsular thats between South Pattaya and Jomtien away from the noise of bars and excess of walking street etc, because some people are sex tourists and criminals doesnt make all foreigners that go to Pattaya the same way.

I dont stipulate between good girls and bad girls, people should be judged on their own behaviour and actions not because they came from this kind of family or that kind of family or in which place they live and work. Everyone has the choice to make if theyre going to do their best by themselves and others and everyone has the power to reform from previous bad deeds.

Balance is important in any relationship, being close in age, interests expectations and being able to communicate well together will see off many problems and mis-understandings and will help inform both parties of cultural issues. Learn the culture and the language make it part of your every day routine, show some interest in the country as a whole and then you wont be a pushover and open to manipulation, keeps both parties happy and free from scams as you have a healthy relationship with your partner.

The difference in culture is the only difference in a cross cultural relationship.

That is in a REAL cross cultural relationship :)

pighoglet

my post was not aimed at you as a person more as a coment onevry thing said here

ive read a lot of you and theo's post and found a plesure in reading them
as they are well written with a honest approtch to thailand as i see it
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

without the sour attetude that some here leve as a comment
thailand is what it is i still love going there

Doug, think were the same on that one. Fantastic country with great people and a small percentage of scammers who ruin things at every level.

People who get ripped off will feel sour, but the smart ones will I hope do their research on sites such as this one and learn to appreciate the best things that Thailand has whilst avoiding the pitfalls.

Examples are the great attitude of most of the Thai people the sunshine the relatively low cost of living and the excitement / changeability that you dont get in the western world much these days.

Oh, and eating stuff like fresh fish, grilled chicken bbq, fresh fruit for a fraction of the cost at home, the simple stuff that puts a smile on your face when you remember back home.

If I write anything its not personal but its great to share all the things I've learnt or found out the easy / hard way during my last tour of duty and the years before to help others to beat the scammers and enjoy what Thailand has to offer.

Wish I had read a website like this all those years ago when I was a first timer!!!! :)

i have been nailed by 2 thai girls the first i was seeing for 2 years the second fof 2 and a half years.the 1st i bought gold braclets and chains and sent her money to stop her working at beer bars.i come to my sence`s when on my 4th trip to her home (village) i booked into our usual hotel where we allways stayed when we visited.we allways stayed for a week but on this occation instead of her staying at the hotel with me.she said she wanted to stay with different members of her family as they all lived close by.and if i wanted to see her i would have to go looking for her.so after 2 days of this i packed my bags and told her i was leaving she asked me why so i told her if she was`nt going to stay with me she could stay there alone.she tried to contact me 4 days later but i told her it just would`nt work out between us.the 2nd girl i thought was perfect 2 and a half years wanted to get married bought rings bought land i came back home 2/3 weeks of being back home the phone calls stopped no sms or e-mails nothing she never answered my calls or anything.i went back after 2 months to see what had gone wrong her perents were so sorry for what she had done and said they had spoken to her since our last visit.i later found out off one of her friends that she had gone crazy was living in russia.so anyone out there who has been ripped off your not the 1st and you wont be the last.now i have new lady and iam still cautious (once bitten twice shy) but new lady understands and things are looking good

Thanks for your honesty, Del, in admitting difficult stuff about your exes, appreciated. Good luck for the future.

your wellcome pighoglet.and i hope i get lots of good luck for the future.

Most people luckily become educated about the bar scene because of its controversial and therefore much talked about nature and leave that behind once the novelty wears off.

Also they usually find out about the culture and background of the girls who work there and why they do what they do by talking to the girls and the foreign bar customers. Its self perpetuating because the teachers of these girls are often the 'mama sans' who were themselves once bar girls. For the men its the story tellers back home with tales of their 'conquests' urging others to do the same.

Some bar girls do enjoy what they do first of all (especially the money) but its a self destructive life away from normal Thai society and some will marry a foreign man to get away from that downward spiral that comes with increasing age and involvement in the scene.

Some people do look for love in all the wrong places but meeting that special person could happen anywhere! There are so many places to go in Thailand besides bars and in not going to these hotspots you sidestep alot of scams.

Many people who get into relationships with girls from Thailand are from the West and thus don't really understand the whole dowry system. So if you decide to get in to it study it well. Personally I think that is a very old tradition, but I think most of the families that ask for it are very poor and too many people pay this so girls know this and will ask. As stated above in a few posts, if she is or was a bargirl, that may also explain her endless quest for money and this may or may not stop after you do get married. I've been around many of bar girls and see the shameless greed. My current girl friend is a nurse and totally opposite at the moment and has been for about the last 9 months we have been serious. But with bar girl or no bar girl some girls will extort you and some won't, especially in Thailand.

Men who marry thai girls need to think alot about what they are doing, stories everywhere of people marrying girls theyve known for 3 months. These men are marrying a time bomb, explained....

Given that the financial balance is often weighted towards the man, a couple of years down the line the girl is faced with the choice, she can either carry on with the marriage often having to take on a job as per western standards to make the family ends meet with her husbands salary being more stretched than before equalling less sanuk OR no matter how much she feels for the man, she can get divorced, get half his assetts and keep her family in luxury and not have to work again also returning to be in her own country with her own family and friends.

People do go into marriage for many reasons all over the world, love is only one of them, bettering yourself is another.

Just be careful and honest about what you are getting into.

15,000 usd. Even if this is a true story and having livd in Thailand myself for years, I'd say there is probably truth in it. 15,000 for a bit of bar girl pussy lol.

Bit of advice for wannabe romeos... When you land at suvambhumi airport make sure you lock your brains in a tamper proof safe and don't leave them on the plane! Make sure you bring plenty of smart pills, If you should feel the urge to say yes, take 15 and lie down.

Make sure your money is on a piece of elastic. and Please please, don't believe her when she says... you hansum man, I'll let you into a little secret... IT'S NOT TRUE, she's lying!

I met with a dutchman in Thailand who told me his divorce costed him half a million euros . He has his own company. Surprise: She was dutch. Now he has a Thai girlfriend. But wiser now he says he will never marry her. He is not going to build a house in the Esan or anywhere else in Thailand together with her. Why? Renting is cheap and you move whenever you like

Sensiible move Theo, and if you want to move countries then yu pack your bags, no lawyers fees, no rooky estate agents, and you can change your woman if the mood takes you and no more divorce fees eithere hahaha

Buying property together with Thai women in Thailand rarely turns out well for the farang. Especially if the house is bought or being build in the Esan. In case of divorce he will loose. IIn most cases the house will be used more by his wifes family than by him. Of course they will not forget to present him all the bills. Water, repairs and so on. Some people put locks on everything when not there not allowing their wifes family in. This type of husbands seem to be stronger minded than their Thai wifes. But mostly the woman weirs the trousers and he is not allowed to lock the place.
If you marry a Thai woman you have to show her that you are the boss from the beginning.
Its an eastern culture. Thats the way it is over there wether you like it or not. This is what they told me and they know their culture bettter than I do. Fools or weak man who dont understand that end up their Thai wife slaves and everything they buy will mostly be in the interest of their wife and her family. If you dont want the house dont buy it. But mostly its her will that wins. Not the farangs

Lets face it - just look at the economics of the situation. If a 'rich' guy marries a poorer lady anywhere in the world, who is more likely to be financially better and worse off. If the lady is responsible for taking care of her family, everyone would see it as a waste to have the house locked up, and out of use whilst the man is away.

IMHO, Part of the problem is the preconception that western people have unlimited funds and can easily 'regain' any money spent in his home country..... another is the fact that it might be the only time in their lives to have the opportunity of easily receiving a large sum of money.

I agree. A reason to lock the place is that you will find the place occupied not only by familymembers but also their belongings. Clothes etc. When you are away they will take you TV to their one houses, use your washing miche and so on. Often they house is left dirty with a lot of things not working. I hear those storie everywhere. Then its reasonable, I think, to lock the place. But maybe not all families are the same. Besides you will have to wait every to take a
shower. No farang tv but Thai broadcast. You end up being a guest in your own house.
If you dont show them the limits they will take it all

You are an adult you should think more before u do something. You don't really know her face and her habit. I agree to Dave Anderson. I have some suggestion 4 you I think you should post her picture to be the example case for others.

I know of some farang women married to Thai men. (usely the marriage only lasts for a few of years) Interesting is that none of the Thai men had to paid a dowry to the womans parents, nor did they had to buy a three baht goldchain for her. Usely she ends up with children she has to take with her after the divorce, a bleu eye every once and a while and thats it. And usely these husbands will spent the farangs money with their mia noi. Thai men, in these situations, are much better off than farang men

Of course after the divorce no money will be sent by the ex Thai husband for his childrens education. It will be hard to find a lawyer who can force him to do that. When his children have grown up, he will remember them. Potential money providers for maintaining his mia nois and for gambling

Hello Tod,

My comments reflect my opinion based on all the Thais I have met, done business with and also become friends and also all the comments placed previously on this and other forums relecting others experiences, especially regarding relationships and marriage, relationships are an integral and important part of the one life we have to live. The small percentage of Thais who have tried, unsuccessfully to scam me previously are in a small percentage compared to all the people I have met whilst living in that country.

My opinion is expressed on the marriage stuff because in my opinion marriage is a gamble, a flawed concept based on control and compromise. That will be my opinion until I see or experience some evidence to change my views.

Marriage on the other side of the coin can create a great environment for the bringing up of children but not every partnership will create this and the financial problems that some find themselves in is due to the assumption that odds are in their favour for a good partnership that will thrive and overcome difficulties. A game of chance as is most in life as its a most unequal playing field.

I feel that most Thai people are not scammers but there is a criminal minority who are very present in the tourist and other areas who shape the opinion of this country the wrong way.

i dont think you people are being very nice to the people of isan. yes i know a large majority of schemers bargirls and staff in the tourist industry come from there but that does not give a right to point the finger at that region. the key thing to remember about asking a thai girl out is how much interest she was taking in you. if she didnt take any interest and you made the first move the you are most likely are safe. and as for owning property find someone who you really trust and that doesnt have to be the one you love.

Three cheers for the people of Isaan most of whom are great and genuine people who work hard for little reward with a big smile on their faces making Thailand a great place for a holiday or to live most of the time.

Not including the criminals or scammers. They just make trouble.

@theo "And so on. Now I would like to hear some stories told by poor falangs having hooked a rich Thai girl!! Just the opposite from what usely is going on. Anybody?"

Hmm not my experience, but a friend of mine hooked up with one , young bloke 24 from Aust., nice socialite Thai lady few years his elder mind you, says she used to like parading him arround (I guess toy boy style) , he got spoilt rotten and the parents were loaded. Not sure why it ended... maybe she got bored - whatever did sound like he enjoyed it though. So yep does happen.

In spite of what some people in the media would like others to believe, there are many rich Thais.

Why are there Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Porsches for sale in the Paragon centre?, a bit too big for foreigners suitcases so where are they going then? Look at the Mercedes and BMWs at the dealership off of Sukhumvit 24 cant all be going to Japanese ex pats, the tax on these vehicles is prohibitive in Thailand but they are seen as a status symbol for wealthy Thais.

Look around the big malls at the Thais with their "face increasing" Rolexes, Patek Philippe and Cartier watches and the guys haggling with house brick sized blocks of 1000 baht bills at the watch places in MBK. The multi million baht really rather vulgar jewellery at the Emporium centre and Paragon all aimed at the hi-so Thais.

There is alot of money in Thailand and it is kept and maintained by a fabulously wealthy upper or hi-so class. Their daughters sometimes court a foreign partner because they want to experience everything before settling down and they get married, usually to a Thai, they travel, they learn about the world and the they come back to the truly amazing Thailand that is their home country with their day to day luxurious lifestyle with the best of everything the world has to offer.

Thailand, the first world / third world country. A real country of contrasts with spirit crushing poverty and an image that all people live this way. Not the case.

The exception confirms the rule. Some wealthy Thai women marry foreigners. But usely not working or middleclass farangs. Rich farangs. Even if they fall in love their family will be to much against it. How is he going to pay the many millions dowry anyway? A toy boy is more like a male mia noi.

The opposite is more common. Poor girl from poor Esan family. And if educated, even in pocession of a university degree, they usely dont come from very wealthy families. In case they have a job at their educationlevel (difficult in Thailand if they dont have wealthy friends or family) its often is not all that well payed. Reason enough to look for a farang who might improve their position in society.

Some make like 30000 a month and they consider themselfs lucky to find a job like that. If she comes to Amsterdam she can make 3 times more in a restaurant. The farang usely works so most will be sent over to Thailand to buy land and to build houses. I met several well educated esan people selling on the beach. This way they made more money then in Bangkok. Esan farmers spent lots money, sold their cows, to give their children a good education. No use at all.

I met my then g/f in a shopping mall, first nice clue--she didn't speak English!! when we married, her parents never asked me for any money nor have I ever paid any----but then my wife is not from Isaan---thank god!!

And forgot to mention, her parents are poor.

There are some wonderful women that come from Issan, its a bit like saying she/he isnt British or American, shame some people have tunnel vision.

agre with khun issan, i met some nice peope in issan, thai women very special I come back from trip in singpore. woman so fake, and money is all they wanted. not nice

Khun, you are right, some special people come from Issan, sure you get your bar girls that go down south, but you get that in many countries opportunists looking to make a quick buck that the economy. Laughing about Singapore because I am half Singaporean, but Singapore is another ball game, again some lovely people living there in a rather sterile atmosphere, but I too enjoy going home for breaks and a change of atmosphere lol

@theo "And so on. Now I would like to hear some stories told by poor falangs having hooked a rich Thai girl!! Just the opposite from what usely is going on. Anybody?"

I know a british guy with a thai wife and theyve been happily married for seven years and they have a five year old son, and her family is loaded, they own a lot of land near the new airport, he told me that when they go back to the family home in bangkok (they live here in abu dhabi) that her family wont let him pay for anything, not even a stick of gum !!!

re:The opposite is more common. Poor girl from poor Esan family. And if educated, even in pocession of a university degree, they usely dont come from very wealthy families. In case they have a job at their educationlevel (difficult in Thailand if they dont have wealthy friends or family) its often is not all that well payed. Reason enough to look for a farang who might improve their position in society.

Thats spot on, i read a book called 'Sex Slaves' where a female scholar compiled a book on the sex industry in asia (from pakistan to japan) and the book contains a series of interviews with various girls of various nationalities, a thai girl who was from a rural town (cant remember the name) stated that she went to college and became an administrative assitant in amedium sized company, yet the salary provided wasnt enough to pay off the college loans and keep her families farm in use (as we all know land in thailan is becoming less arable by the year) so she actually became a "working girl" in bangkok, now her family have two houses and are the pride of the village, yet when she goes back there no one will talk to her as shes "tainted", sad story really really sad.

So become a working guy or marry a rich (by thai standards) farang ?.........

Not sure how they met but it does happen !

so chris from abu dhabi where is the sam in this, this site is for scams not story telling. I wouldnt knock Thailand too much, the country your writing from has so many issues and its neighbouring countries as well, lok at your own door step before criticising others!

Well Chris, at least one case. Still an exception. It also depends how much the farang owns. Class consciousness is important in Thailand. (As far as I know) Thai dont like to marry somebody of a lower class. The esan girl who marries a farang goes a few steps higher up. She will hardly get that opportunity when she looks for a Thai man. But like I said as far as I know. Here will be exeptions too.

have been seeing a middle class woman from bangkok for a year,educated in one of the best universities in thailand.met her here. she may be the sweetest most considerate honorable person i have met let alone dated. she is upwardly mobile, values education, yet loves to shop as do most women, and definitely values money yet insists on paying for meals so much that it bothers me. she feels very awkward about public affection ("we're in pubrik"). a true angel-night and day from the generalizations that most people here describe. the furthest thing from a bargirl and even many "empowered" easy american woman.
many of these posts are like saying every american is like a guest/audience member on the jerry springer show for crying out loud.

Love has nothing to do with money... When I first moved to Thailand years ago (Samui), I was greatly disappointed in the women. I met both a Thai and farang man who gave me great advice. The Thai said he was always amused with the farangs who gave away their money to Thai girls. How often do you see a Thai girl getting money from a Thai man? His credo: If a woman likes you she will never ask for money. And if she loves you she will try to give you her money. The farang's advice was simpler: If the girl mentions money within the first few weeks, cancel her. Of course this will rule out the majority of women in tourist areas, but you only need one. I have lived with a lovely Thai woman for three years now (22 yrs younger). She works as a chef, contributes to the household, and has never asked for one baht. Nothing is in her name and I have guaranteed her squat. She tells everyone that she has never been happier.

Regarding dowries: Just live with the girl if possible. If the mother asks for a dowry, double the figure, and tell her as soon as you get the 100MB, you will get married. The mother will save face as she can tell everyone you offered a fortune for her daughter. By the time the mother realizes that she is getting nothing you will probably have moved on to the next one.

Supporting parents: Simple, your mother is dying of cancer so you need to support her.

As my late father always said, "Nobody owes you a living." Most people around the world have lost their savings and pensions, so tell her parents they need to work like everybody else.

Let's get this into perspective. Not all Thai girls are on the make. My wife and I have two Thai daughters in law, one from Isaan - and yes, her parents are dirt poor - and one from the south - yes, her parents are quite wealthy, but having 14 kids they had to be!

Both are very different, the one from Isaan having almost entirely taught herself the other having two degrees - the second in Ancient South East Asian languages!! Both are charming, devoted to their men and completely delightful. So let's not tar them all with the same brush. (And no, neither of them has ever worked in a bar....)

I would like to clear something , I never had contacts with bargirls, but I was engaged with well payed ladies , that was the same , after 2 years of being together I start to discover the real face , they had plans for a long term , but as I did not fall in the trap , I found that they are all the same , it's a part of their culture. stop taking care of a thai female , you will see your real value.

Presumably all you men bitching about the materialism of women are firm supporters of feminism? Surely when women are equally paid, etc, you'd be able to treat them as people, not young bodies. Of course. Likely. Seems to me you have no idea what to contribute to a relationship. Especially the man who gives us all only a ten year blond window. You deserve what you get.

in 1999 i married a young thai woman from near seka in far northeast thailand. at first it was a dream come true but a nightmare waiting to happen. i lost alot of money but mostly my heart. i still love her but she is back in thailand being removed by immigration. there isn't any justice to that. i'm 56 now and still find thai women attractive but most seem to be of same character and purpose. they just lie,gamble and focus on some deception about money, just aren't honest and lack true attributes. i attribute this to a life that is hard, poor and self survival. you have to be careful, for one good thai girl there many bad ones with a mother running the money. pray hard you find a christian girl there . date her see if she appears honest but you never know. you just don't know what you are getting, till you live with them. one sad farang and mad at that. be careful the more you give the more they expect. there are good people in thailand but even them can see a chance they could get week and steal you blind.. i lost close to 30 thousand dollars in 3 years. all i have are a few pictures and lost assets in my mid life. when someone will marry on the drop of the hat a gun should pop in your ear. the ride could get rough but you could find happiness love is a gamble here too in the usa. learn and live and avoid same mistakes dont believe all the promises. be careful

To the Guys - what kind of girl do you expect to meet in a bar ?

To the Girls - what kind of guy do you expect to meet in a bar ?

I have been with bar girls and i tell them this if you want customer go and find someone else, if you want stay in nice room and go with me and eat and drink i will look after you and we will have good time, and they have all been good they live well and enjoy them selves with me and i enjoy them, when i go home i give them bit of spare money they are happy i am happy it is so much better then a gir stand there in the morning with her hand out for money and a lot cheaper

Hi everyone,I fell in love with a young Thai woman, and decided to marry.( the fun starts) I meet the parents( obviously they have nothing)After a week I go back to my home country to arrange a few things, I'm back in a week and all the relations are busy making preparation for the wedding. After the wedding My new bride and I visit my home country for a few weeks. When we get back to Thailand There is a new cement house where the old tin shed was standing, a new motorbike and a house full of furniture and a few other things. Well the parents were very busy while we were away. They handed me the bill to pay for everything when we returned. ( how F*****G sweet ) A life savings gone - BEWARE you are only an ATM on legs. A hard lesson but one I will never forget.

all i can say you can not trust thai people when money is on the agenda. don't give out money in these downry this is not a thai custom it is the new deal. you will never get your money back and they do not have one thought of remorse. i know i went through alot in my thai marriage. it seems most are good at deception sneaky untruthful prone to cheat. they are like an animal loose from a cage when they get to usa they change. i miss my wife but she did not love me, her mother did my money. what a big lesson, listen live with the girls and date her from 2 years the by then you should se if you want a chance at heartbreak. when they slip away they wiil never look back they are just heartless with no regard for you heart or feelings they will steal lie cheat and do anything as one can see look around siam. these marriage are 3 out 4 fail after2 year condition visa is removed and then most say oh i don't love you i can't live with you i sorry. they sorry my back side please. they just lack a brain for honesty it is wired by their hard life and they will do what it takes to get all you have if they can. you never fit in to their life and they don't want a life with you but one for 2 years and your no good husband withsoon have an empty house. this is not a fantasy shake yourself off before you get taken. 1 week i love i take care of you i never leave you. you have heard the stories, stop right here listen to me becareful, tragic things happen with the chemicals in the brain go crazy . just have good time don't fall in love because they are not they have an objective to get out of this life at all costs. take it from me stay out of the poor places, it is sad they are poor but they are the girls you don't want to get with, the parents have these girls trained to send money,money i know from experience, and seeing other cau and thai marriage . just enjoy you girls don't fall in love take it slow and don'y give parents dough and more dough

this is my last report on the risks of marrying in thailand. don't hop of the plane and think love abounds here. i really feel thais are sweet but they are noted to ask for a dowry. don't fall for this you need money. their daughter may leave and believe me money given is theirs. you you can have this feeling of love of i never been treated like this. stop, listen i had those feelings and i got burned. i sound like a cry baby but doesn't everyone want an honest woman. from what i see the thai women are schemers, their minds are in get mode take mode, it is just what they are after, there are good thai people but it is hard to say who they are when their whole society seems abit too smiley. i still love the beauty of these girls but they are trouble. when my ex left me i found out she was cheating on me had secret bank account and was sending all to her greedy mother. these people in thailand can be sweet there are nice people, but when bahts are all they want forget it move. one of my friends married my ex wife from thailand, she has max out credit cards. ,this is her cousin he married
, forged checks stole money from his relatives, he say she has a bad gambling habit and he has relation 1 time a month then it is like pulling eye teeth to get love from her. she is just a house guess taking up money and not contributing to the financial part in the marriage no they want to send their money over to their parents. don't get caught sending money to thailand. surely you have some family here that could be helped. they will use all kinds of excuses to get money there, don't fall into a trap.

listen i did not write the above article on oct 29 2009, i am sure it was quite sometime before, i realize there are good women in thailand, i don't want to say every thai woman is corrupt. i do think most will take advantage of farangs, and i blame this on talk, thai talk. they hear about some farang and this episode goes on and on, he gave this for my daughter and so on. my advice is be careful with your money, the more you give the more they want. i blame the parents to push their daughters to marry for money, this says a lot about parenting in thailand. it is a hard life in thailand but that doesn't mean you have fall for every lie there. it is hard to get to know someone when you can't speak but nit noi thai. sure, they are pretty but pretty is is not always pretty does. my advice go to thailand but don't marry someone if they want to marry you from day one. a flag should go up. i know i am sure she loves me you think and her family they treat me like a king. hello, wake up before you do something crazy and start handing out bahts for every reason under the sun or moon. . you can love any place but face it you are an american and you have a dear thing called citizenship. people will promise anything sometimes to get to america. things change when most brides get here, things aren't like they hoped for, soon they forget the promises or they never were there to start with. yes, some marriages work but what can one expect when we have the highest divorce rate in the world. we are the instant society, and we fail terribly in love and marriage. this seems to now be a world-wide epidemic, love grows dimmer in time when people can see that this love is not what i thought. i know there are good thai-american marriages i know some first hand, most were from the 1970s. the world has changed so. i do want to go back to thailand, the food is great and it has a beauty of its own, there will always be sad stories of lost love. tell me of someone that hasn't lost in love, then i'd say they are lying. go to thailand to enjoy,not to marry someone who set you up with or an agency. save your money and don't fall for tricks. i hope you would love thailand and i hope you have a safe trip.

Whilst the below did not happen to me,,,, it did happen to the poor smuk who reiterated the story to me at the bar of an Amari hotel in Bangkok some years ago.

Mr 'A' was from South Wales (UK) he had come to Bangkok to see a girl whom he had been writing to for some time. She was much younger than him but love was in the air. He had never met her but from the photo she was a stunner. Mr 'A' had been sending the girl money for her education and was looking forward to meeting her one day. Out of the blue he had decided to book a trip to Bangkok to see his proposed wife. So excited was he that he told her to expect him shortly..... what a let down,,,, just at the time of his visit his love was taking exams and unable to meet him, even though they were now only a few miles away from each others arms.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, it was such a sad tale, love had been stopped in its tracks by the Thai education system what a horrible world this is. Although I did suggest that he stopped sending money and "SMELL THE COFFEE"

thai woman are not all like that at all my wifes thai shes great and my girl friend before was also thai i actually did the wong thing by her she was fine would u marry a prostitute at home get a clue

ok i have a question for you, why would you want to marry some pesant from a 3rd world country? ok may be you are that ugly but so what, my husband isnt the hottest guy and i love him because he has other qualites.

They're not all the same. Swiss research shows marriages to Thai women have a lower divorce rate than domestic marriages (in Switzerland), and also have the lowest divorce rate when compared to marriages to other asian women.

if you put your hand in the beehive , you will get stung.

The thai family is a kind of beehive , the family themselves are the bees and the farang usually gets stung .

farang= westerner , most westerners go to thailand wearing blindfolds , they believe they are superior beings and the sweet innocent pretty faced thai girl with her cute little arse is a delicate flower which will wilt and die unless the farang rescue them from the abyss of the thai city .

but dont be fooled mr bulging wallet farang , that sweet little face with the cute little arse is already working out how to extract every last baht that you pocess and theres nothing you can do about it because you are already committed to her and her greedy money orientated family of leeches

to mr joseph stewart .

i too was married to a girl from seka in nongkhai , she already had a sister married to a britishman and they lived in hampshire in england .
i now believe that i had been a victim of a marriage scam , she looked so sweet and innocent when we first encountered eachother via the internet , 3 months later i had travelled to thailand to marry her , one month later i got her the visa to u.k.
one year later she leave me and move in with her sister and brother in law , another year later we divorce and i lose ten grand in settlement .


even though i've moved on , you never forget being ripped off
i was a good husband to her , i treated her well but her mother ruled the roost even though her mother was in thailand ,she still made the decisions , she left me owing 1000,s in credit card bills .

To all westerners who fall for that smile - GOOD LUCK

to Mickey ,wed 02 april 2008

i had married my thai girlfriend at the registry office in bangkok and a month later her visa to the u.k. was secured , i had booked a room at the Landmark Hotel in Bangkok, all of a sudden she went all weird , as if she was on LSD or something , she said she could see a spirit of our future son and his name would be John and she was staring at the ceiling and presumably talking to the spirit .
i had to carry her into the hotel and put her in a wheelchair , she was totally spaced out , i didnt know what the hell was going on and i had to call for a doctor , which cost me £100 . The doctor said she had a water infection and connected her to a drip .
The next morning i pleaded with her to act in a normal manner because we had to board the flight to heathrow , she got on the plane o.k. but still insisted that the " spirit " was still with her .

@britidiot, looks like she played you well and proper mate, but one thing that puzzles me, why the f... did you marry her only after knowing her for THREE months! Look, whats done is done, try to move on...

I prefer to rent girls rather than buy them, that way I'll never lose my house.

Its funny reading all these sob stories. GET REAL Thai girls are fantastic, they're beautiful, friendly, submissive, loving etc. etc. they tick all the right boxes.
Just don't invest what you cant afford to lose.
If you build them a house its there house don't begrudge it.
If your old, don't marry one that's too young. You can meet lovely Thai women in there 30's that will look after you. Don't go back home with your tail between your legs and expect sympathy.
You lot have had the time of your lives.

Wow!!!!!!!!very interesting to read all of your comments as a Thai women

Are there any recourses for getting your money back from a Thai scammer? What will the police do if they know who she is and where to find her?

"What will the police do if they know who she is and where to find her?'


probably make a deal with her to shake you down for more money

To Britidiot, thanks for the comment. Its a frightening experience I am sure it wasnt acting maybe drugs were involved when I looked at the videos later I could see that something was being planned. Strange though when the girl was in a state she smoked a cigar and that was the only time I seen her smoke. As for the police beleive it or not they were vey helpfull but I couldnt do anything about it in the end. I have made many friends since by telling the story. Be carefull that beautiful girl might have a dark secret.