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After, having talked about the idea for ages and ages, myself and
the Webmaster Mr Richard finally got round to seeing for ourselves
first-hand just how the cheapo Bangkok Tuk-Tuk scam works.
Up early, adorning the most touristy-looking set of clothing, cap
and sunglasses that I could find in my wardrobe, I went to meet Richard
before the scam-baiting and discuss our plans. Both of us, having lived
in Thailand for donkeys years had read and heard so much about the
supposed 10Baht Tuk-Tuk, that it was certainly time to get scammed
deliberately just to see how it was for the average unassuming
tourist/backpacker.
Parking the car near Pinklao Bridge, the first destination of the
day was….of course….the epicenter of ‘scamming the naïve tourist’ – The
Grand Palace. Alas though, after having walked just 50 meters from the
car carrying a Lonely Planet map, pretending we were lost and didn’t
speak a word of Thai, we were approached by a young burly looking guy,
politely offering advice on sightseeing. And, before we could hardly
mutter a word, he was suggesting a tour of the Big Buddha temple, the
Lucky Buddha temple and fortunately, by complete chance – a government
fashion shop was holding a grand Thai New Year sale which…..wasn’t to
be missed! Just as he was explaining that a Tuk-Tuk ride would cost an
unbelievably cheap 10Baht, we were once again granted heavenly luck
when a cheerful-looking Tuk-Tuk driver appeared from absolutely
nowhere. Such incredible co-incidence!
Getting out a pen and paper (every darned scammer asked us for a piece of paper to write on!) he wrote down the itinerary:
11am - Go see Big Buddha
12 o’clock – Get the good luck; visit Lucky Buddha
1pm – Take photo Marble Temple (Richard and I turned this one down)
1:30pm – Shopping at groovy Government fashion shop
Now, what the heck was this Big Buddha and Lucky Buddha?! Once
whisked away, we soon realized that our Tuk-Tuk hardly spoke a word of
English besides “Very good shopping fashion shop, special price for
you” and “You want massage sexy girl?” Arriving at the first spot, we
realized that The Big Buddha was in fact Intaram Temple in the Dusit
area. Walking around, Richard took the cheap opportunity to snap loadsa
pics and we noticed dozens of other tourists who had also arrived in a
scammy Tuk-Tuk. Giving him his dues though, the Tuk-Tuk was cheerful
friendly guy.
On asking why the fare was so cheap, all the Tuk-Tuk drivers reply
“If you go to look Fashion Shop 5 minutes I get free petrol coupons”.
This is absolute nonsense! As they do in fact get 200baht commission,
regardless to whether you buy or not. To add more to this complete
lies, our Tuk-Tuk guy even showed us a corny counterfeit coupon – with
Esso printed on it! Laughable.
So, our next stop was The Lucky Buddha Temple (aka: Sitiram Temple,
near Ratchadamnoern Road) which Richard was quite chuffed about as he
had always wanted to visit. Just as he was taking some pictures, a
shabby-looking guy came up to us and said “You no take photo”. Now,
this guy was pretty rude and when we protested he pointed to a sign in
Thai language about ‘Buddhism’, and lying through his grimy teeth
explained “This photo, say in Thai – can not take photo”. Next, he
really flipped-out when Richard turned around and took a quick snap of
the sign. Who the guy actually was we had no idea, but he was
definitely a scammer of some kind. To add more to his lies he said
“Foriegner can not photo because not Buddhist” and to top it off
reckoned “You listen me, I am security guard”. Now this guy was
speaking so much ‘bull’ that you could almost smell it on his breath!
Next destination was the wonderful government fashion shop. Of
course, it was nothing of the sort, but instead a huge Indian run
tailors. Richard pretended that he needed the toilet but instead went
for a quick look around the back. As for me, I was lynched immediately
but a couple of English-speaking Thai-Indians. On asking them whether
the shop-gaff was government-run, he also lied “Oh yes, the government
is giving the foreigner very special prices today”. Sat down, I was
offered a coffee and handed a set of brochures full of corny pictures
of models with their head and legs edited in wearing a Cashmere Suit –
tacky Photo-Shop style.
Here, myself and Richard, kinda got our stories mixed-up! The Indian
guy asked “Good Sir, I am wanting to know where you are going after
Thailand” to which I replied “Mmmmm….. Singapore”.
“And where are you staying in Bangkok?” “Mmmmm….The Riverside Hotel”.
Next, I tried to say to the guy that I wasn’t interested but my friend
in the toilet certainly was. Richard, when he finally got back
immediately stated that he wasn’t interested! And to blow our
undercover even more quickly, replied to the above same questions
“After Thailand, we’re going to Japan” and “Yes, we’re staying on Khao
Sarn Road”. Nevermind, we soon headed for the door and back to our
ever-smiling Tuk-Tuk.
As scammers always are, his faced soon dropped when we told him that
we wanted to get back to The Grand Palace. He was insistent though,
that we check out a Jewelry Store (again, friggin government owned!).
Great, I had always wanted to be taken to a scammy Gem Shop. I was a
little disappointed though, as this gaff did not look like one of those
infamous gem scam stores which are always closing down (and opening up
again) for ripping of tourists. In the car-park were tens of Tuk-Tuks,
and we noticed a couple of foreigners arguing with their driver looking
obviously cheesed-off like “I told you that I wanted to go to The Grand
Palace”.
We were welcomed at the entranced by a couple of pretty promo girls
who offered us a drink. Incredibly I saw a few foreigners in there
drinking beer! So, the next time you fancy a tour of three temples and
a free beer thrown-in, you know what to do! They gave us a guided tour
of their small factory (which was quite interesting) before being taken
into the main shopping hall. I had a good look at their rings, they
were nice-like, but the prices weren’t that much different to what you
find in Europe, I thought the place was real expensive for Thailand.
Our guide was quite polite though and wasn’t that pushy. After telling
her that we weren’t interested in buying she took as next door to a
spacious gift shop full of overpriced souvenirs. After a quick browse,
we fled the scene and the taxi driver agreed this time to take us
directly to The Grand Palace.
Don't forget your map if you want to be scammed!
Strolling around The Grand Palace we were approached by swarms of
scammy Tuk-Tuk drivers and their cronies offering trips to a couple of
other temples and more darned government fashion shops and jewelry
stores. Of course, even though we were just 100 meters from the
entrance, they all claimed something along the lines of
“You go Grand Palace? Can not! Now, have a Buddhist ceremony, tourists
can not go in, only Thai people. But open again 3 o’clock, I send you
back here after you go with me”.
Again, all the scammers offered silly fares ranging between 5-40baht. I
would guess however, that if you said “How about a trip for free” that
they would agree.
These scammers claiming that the Emerald Buddha Temple and The Grand
Palace are closed, when they are not, are in theory seriously breaking
the law. These Tuk-Tuk scams have been going on for years and the
government has never enforced any kind of severe crackdown. I advise
that they do something right now, otherwise The Kingdom will
continually lose floods of potential tourists.
And finally, all the foreigners suck-up to the scammers about
receiving petrol coupons for taking them to such stores. That is
complete quack-wack - help to spread the truth! They get cash!
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